if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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