my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
