He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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