girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You need Xanax blowdarts
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
