Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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