Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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