So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize