chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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