if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
