I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
