I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
