dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize