did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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