And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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