Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
