very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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