Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
