This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
