Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize