we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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