just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The adults are the big ones right?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
