Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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