ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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