i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
