yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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