I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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