I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
