I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
