Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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