I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
