After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
