Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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