He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
