haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
