am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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