Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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