I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
