He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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