Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
