people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
