would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
