you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
