even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
