I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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