is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
