Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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