Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
