I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
