you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize