He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
