you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
