Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
