Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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