oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
