My first STD was from a foam party
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
