CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
