You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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